What i've been trying to come up with then, is coming up with a query that finds everyone with Paid = No who doesn't have a matching record (match on FirstName,LastName,Email together since two ...

I'm fairly certain what you want to be using is DTS. It the wizard interface lives under Import/Export data. IMO, It's one of the best tools that has ever been designed for the computer.

Executing this query in SQL returns results such as: Now if you drop the view from your data model and re-add it, EF will pick up the real primary key column that is labeled NID and your LINQ ...